Such a common dilemma these days.  30 seconds of scrolling social media and you will see someone posting an explosive “truth” toward the opposing view of their belief.  In any arena:  political, motherhood (to breastfeed, or not breastfeed), vaccines, homeschooling, the list is almost eternal!

What took me a while to understand on my spiritual journey, but has been a beautiful contributor to my zen, is understanding this concept:  I do not need to make “them” wrong in order for me to be right. 

We waste time battling with people who are not open, yet we continue to try to force them to see what it is we believe we are certain they are missing, what it is that we see that they do not see…to no avail.  How does the Bible say it?  It is like casting pearls among swine.  Not to refer to “others” as swine, rather the point being that your truth, or any truth is wasted on people who are not interested in, or open to it.

I had a particular relationship that I left due to a behavior pattern of the other person.  They could not see it.  Despite my efforts, my creative ways of expressing it, the reason I felt I needed to leave fell on deaf ears.  For the longest time, I felt I couldn’t really move on, until I made sure this person understood their role in my decision.  I needed them to understand my “why”.  Why I left.  Eventually–and I’m talking a very long time later–I finally got it.  It made no matter whatsoever if the other person ever saw my point of view.  (My obviously right point of view! LoL)  

I was free to go ahead and move about my life in the direction of my choice, and KNOW to the deepest fiber in me that I was correct.  Both correct in making the choice to leave, and correct in the REASON behind my choice to leave.  

I learned that I needed to do what is necessary in every life opportunity for growth:  I needed to take my attention and focus off of the other person, and shine the light on myself, for myself.  The focus needed to be and remain to be on what I had control over, which was me. 

The primary points of this blog are 1): Do not let your focus shift from your point of power, which is YOU, to anyone else’s life where you actually have NO power.  And 2): the other point here is that the behavior and actions of another may not actually have been the wrong ones for them.  Everyone is operating out of the lens and the level of consciousness that is dictating their views.  I can choose to respect their actions as their truth for their journey at this point, regardless of where I am on mine.  They were just wrong for ME.  What if you and the other person NEVER see eye-to-eye?  Will you let this hold you back your entire life?

I know in my heart that in my situation, I did what was right for me. If the other person somehow came around and saw, and agreed that they were wrong, would that somehow make me more right?  They were wrong but never, ever needed to know this or acknowledge this for me to accept the rightness of my decision.

Let that sink in.  The End.   

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September 25, 2023 — Denise K Evans